I was very used to doing everything "myself", never asking for help, and always being quite proud when I accomplish what I set out to conquer. I had a grand plan and I knew wholeheartedly that only I have the ability to make my goals happen. I was certain that all my hard work would pay off big time very soon. I was more than happy to live life this way until, somewhere along the way, things continually started going wrong, and by wrong I mean in the exact opposite direction from my plan. I had SO many things pushing against me that it literally stopped me in my tracks! For this, I am forever grateful because it made me have to consider a different direction. It also made me consider if it was just me in charge of my life? I had to reconnect with the idea that my co-creating Source (God) might just be trying to get me to take another path? I had always believed in God, and I have never doubted that I didn't just spontaneously appear for no reason. For some people that might be acceptable, but for me it just didn't ring true. So it got me really thinking...if God is my creator, and I'm here on Earth to serve a much more important purpose then running a business and making tons of money so I can acquire stuff...then what the heck am I supposed to be doing?
The first thing that hit me was that in all my attempts to be society's definition of 'successful', I was absolutely miserable! In my analysis of what this world teaches us, I was doing everything right, and I'm a pretty good student ;-) So my question then became Is God's purpose for sending me here to be miserable? I thought about that question for a while before I finally decided that I had to disagree. We are here in search of happiness, joy and peace within this great gift of a human experience. I had found my truth. Truth to me is what my heart, on a deeply emotional level, Feels when I say that an amazing, loving, compassionate, kind and creative Source of energy created us all, and that we are all connected, and Source wants us all to be happy!! At that realization, I gave myself permission to actually pursue the things that would feed my Soul and not just my bank account or society's definition of what life should look like....
My next question then became If God created me, and he has a purpose for me, then is he going to help me? The answer to this question came with a resounding "Yes" inside my head. I sounded so sure in my head, but had just asked the question? I had no idea where that came from in my head...after reading a few astoundingly eye opening books, I realized that that answer came from my intuition, which is in fact my Spirit! My Spirit is the God in me, the part that connects me to God, the part of me that will remain when my body is dead, the part of me to which God can communicate. I had been ignoring my Spirit, my intuition, and all of the messages that God was sending me about what I should do in my life. When I started trying to listen to that part, is when I started to make decisions that made me feel good, relieved, peaceful, excited, and inspired. I understood that everything happens for a reason, and we may not know why, but we can trust that it's for the best. I began to measure my success but how happy it made my Spirit and not my Ego. It's a long and sometimes difficult process to listen to your heart instead of your head, and I know I have many lessons to learn still, but I feel like I'm on the right path. I see answers and direction in lots of different ways these days, through nature, cards, crystals, interaction with people, books that come to me, messages in movies...it's amazing how much you can learn when you're open to them direction. I've never felt so loved and supported in all my life, and I know its because I'm now aspiring to fulfill my Soul's purpose. I'm so thankful, have never been more spiritual in my whole life, and I've never been happier!!
Cheers to Soul Searching!
Jess
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